NEVER GET MARRIED! Tiger is a buddy of mine and I gave him these rules to follow so that he would never marry another woman like Elin Nordegren.
My Rules on How to Stay Single:
- Never talk to women for an extended amount of time. This will have them thinking you actually give a fuck about what their saying.
- Never get emotionally tied down to women. They are dream crushers and they will eventually take everything that is man about you and turn it into a woman. And soon they will be fucking you in the butthole with a strap-on dick dildo.
- Never get ‘faggoty’ in the bedroom: do not ever cuddle after making love and especially don’t EVER sleep with them after love making. Either kick their asses out of your house or if you’re at their house kick yourself out. There is no reason to explain yourself when doing this. Don’t get all soft and think you have to make up a lie. Like, “oh shoot, I got to be at the links tomorrow…” Or “shit I forgot, I got a press conference in the morning.” Because thinking you have to make an excuse, is fucking queerer than shit. Women are kind of smart and they will somehow con your ass into staying and staying makes them think you’re soft. Then they want your ass to marry them, so they can manipulate your little ass into a little fucking slave, stealing your manliness, stealing your money, stealing your dick, stealing your golf game, stealing everything.
- Never ever get married.
– Big Dave, BOOm!