The Queerification of America

Now before Perez Hilton, Doogie Howser, and other gays get their panties all in a bunch. Let me explain what I mean when I say Queerification. First of all, Queerification is in no way a derogatory term towards homosexuals. It’s just the term I use to explain the gradual increase of Estrogen in the young men of America. They are so damn soft – I don’t know why the Hell we’re teaching them to stay away from steroids? The last thing our estrogen crammed boys need is less testosterone.

The Queerification of America started somewhere around the early 1970s with the invention of disco. It grew gradually each decade becoming more and more queer with each passing decade. This decade is queerer than shit.

Proof That This Generation is Feeling the Queerification the Worst:

1. Breast Milk: With all the damn chemicals and other crap that is in our food, milk, and water, we can’t even trust titty milk anymore because women ingest all this estrogen filled crap and feed it to our little boys. (For all you fathers out there, I suggest you spike your wife’s titty milk with some testosterone…No I’m fucking with you or maybe I’m not.)

2. Puberty: Puberty has always been Mother Nature’s way of turning boys into men. Puberty isn’t working anymore, puberty needs help. Boys DON’T turn into men after puberty. Nowadays boys turn into a mix between Clay Akin and that one womanly looking kid from the movies; Juno, Year One and Superbad. (Someone please give me that kid’s name, so I can write him a threatening letter to never make another movie again.)

3. The Divorce Rate: The male figures in many boys life’s are missing. It’s hard to blame the men because I know how ANNOYING women are but this shouldn’t be an excuse. You made the poor decision to get married and a real man should stick to his word. As a man you have a duty as a father to teach your son how to be a man. It’s also your duty to read him all my articles each night before he goes to bed. So he doesn’t turn out to be a pussy like you or God forbid, he turns into someone like Hitler… Hitler did not have strong male figure in his life. Hitler was raised by a single mother. Look how he turned out.

4. Fashion: They wear skinny jeans, guy liner, and pierce the shit out of their faces.

5. The creation of EMOs: They have no muscles,  they hate sports, they wear makeup, they cut their wrists, and they are extremely emotional –  That should be all the proof you need to know that the youth are filled with Estrogen.

6. Entertainment: How did we become so damn SOFT?

I have complied two lists. The first list is the idols of old manlier America. The second is a list of idols of new more womanly America.

Manly America (Yesteryear)

John Wayne

Clint Eastwood

Frank Sinatra


Johnny Cash

Womanly America (Today)

That one kid motioned above

Jonah Hill

Justin Bieber

Jake Gyllenhaal: Brokeback Mountain

Jonas Brothers

Zach Efron

Seth Rogen

Clay Akin

No wonder why America is filled with estrogen? Look at their idols. Do you think Clint Eastwood would agree to play a queer cowboy? Fuck  no!

This proof is why I say a big YES for steroids. Your boys will turn into men and baseball will no longer suck.

– Big Dave, BOOm!

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