Monthly Archives: August 2010

Advice For Women


Cleaning Clean the house with a smile so often women do housework complaining and bitching while they go. Sure housework is a tedious task but remember it’s not nearly as stressful as what a man does everyday.

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BIG DAVE’S TEN THINGS HE WANTS TO BUTT FUCK:


I forgot to turn my TV off last night and this morning I was awakened by the sight of another Goddamn, unfunny, queer, Michael fucking Cera movie trailer. It ruined my whole morning. I got so damn mad that I … Continue reading

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The All-White vs. The All-Black Basketball Game


The All-White vs. The All-Black Basketball Game I was shooting some hoops this morning at the local rec center. I witnessed the sorriest thing I’ve ever seen. I witnessed twenty or so grown men standing in awe at the sight … Continue reading

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I Masturbated to my Top Ten Sexiest Sex Offenders List and That Wasn’t so Weird.


A couple of weeks ago I compiled a list of My Top Ten Sexiest Female Sex Offenders. Check it out and see if you agree with how I ranked these beautiful rapists. (I’m going to disregard numbers 10-6 because they … Continue reading

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You say Metrosexual, I say Homosexual:


1. You have a bunch of hot female friends, that are JUST friends you say you’re metro…I say you’re a homo. 2. Your jeans look like this you say they’re metro…I say they’re homo. 3. You love talking on the … Continue reading

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Masturbating to The Food Channel = A Good Time


I was channel surfing yesterday and I landed on Everyday Italian on the Food Network I soon had the sudden urge to masturbate…This got me thinking – who’s the hottest woman on the Food Network. – Big Dave, BOOm!

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The X-games Flasher


I know your first instinct is going to tell you to keep an eye on the big tittied women in torquise but you need to keep your eye on the little black boy in the corner telling her to take … Continue reading

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How to Fix Women’s Sports: Basketball


Big Dave’s Steps to Fix the WNBA 1. Replace 10 foot rims with Fisher Price Hoops. 2. Replace all players with hookers or escorts because all WNBA players are ugly. 3. Put roofies in their Gatorade 4. Make them play … Continue reading

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Something to Ponder Over…


If you spin an Oriental guy around does he become dis-oriental? – Big Dave, BOOm!

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